I believe adults make choices. I believe choices have rewards or consequences. I have made the choice everyday to wake up and take care of my children. No matter what. My children everyday are my reward. I am a mom working. I have obligations to other people and my family. I could choose to make more money else where, but I choose my children. My children are my life and I do not want it any other way. I choose full time. What I mean by all this is I choose that no matter what I am doing my children are my responsibility and my priority. If you need something and my child also needs something, my children will come first 100% of the time. I am a full time mother working.
For a father in most circumstances, you still choose full time or part time in a secondary role. I say most, because I was raised by my father FULL TIME. Congratulations to fathers surviving the primary role. I know from being a product of a father choosing full time it is not easy. Now, though you are in a secondary role you still can choose full or part time.
Do you show up at every school event, activity, conferences, etc? Do you know who your child's friends are? Do you know where to find your kids clothes? Do you help with homework? Here's some if you are not with your child's mother; do you show up on time to each pick up or drop off? Do you call to check with school, daycare, etc to find out more about your child? Do you call your child every night or almost every night?
If you answered no to any of these questions you are part time. Whether you are with your child's mother or not full and part time are both options. No matter what your circumstances your child always deserves full time. Choose full time.
I have been there so many times where I can see a dream, a vision with such clarity. There it is, all I must do is these simple things to achieve the vision. Nothing can stand in the way, right? It’s so simple. Then, you are faced with the things that seem so simple to just skip to live the dream. For me the temptation lies when the kids are in bed it’s been a long day whether you’re a stay at home mom or a working mom… you are exhausted, I am exhausted. Whatever the temptation it’s there.
For me it’s food. I use food to feel warm and fulfilled at the end of a long day. What seemed so easy at the beginning of the day to just stay on track… just isn’t. I walk by the candy dish at work. There are treats in my cabinet at home. I am hungry from lack of nourishment being busy all day and not taking care of myself and what my body really needs to fuel to workouts I push myself through giving my all tiredly every single morning to maintain an image of what my body once was before babies.
This image I only got a brief glimpse of before I found out I was pregnant with my son. I can play a video in my mind of all the work over the years post babies I have put into trying to be healthy to be conquered at bedtime by food and in the morning questioning why I can get the drive to pull myself out of bed to work out after waking up six times between all the children.
Do I know what I need to do to succeed? Hell yes, I have done it, I have lived it. Why at 3 children do I believe letting go of cooking a healthy dinner is okay? It’s not. It’s not okay, now more than ever I have the responsibility to take care of myself and my children. If I do not take care of myself, I cannot take care of others. Let me say that again, because I know I don’t hear it. I know you don’t hear it. If I do not take care of myself I cannot take care of others. If I do not take care of myself I cannot take care of others.
Do you believe it? Do you live it? I am a fitness freak, but I am being raw here. I have a problem with food. I know what to do to fix it, but I cannot bring myself to the journey in the morning to fulfill the vision. How is it possible to push through a workout that is so intense you break to breath and continue again, but not be able to control what goes in your mouth?
Why am I sharing this? We all have journeys that are tough. I want to share with you the hard stuff. Whatever you are trying to achieve it starts with you! The next few weeks I will be re-focusing where I was going and where I am going in many aspects of my life and I invite you to walk with me through my blog to see what this looks like.
Are you ready for a life revamp? Sit down and write it out. What do you love? What can you give up?
Maple Plain Party in the Park
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