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What do I say when my child refuses visitation?

4/19/2018

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I googled this and found nothing. Granted my son is young we do nothing to provoke this response to him going with his dad. We leave parenting discussions until the kids are in bed and never say anything terrible about his dad. My parents still do this to me today and it still hurts. I don't care their feelings I still love my parents. ​

FIRST, FIND OUT WHY?

If your child is old enough understanding “why” your child refuses to visit will help you be the parent and resolve the issue. Make sure you are not treating your child like a criminal asking questions that may hurt or feel too persistent. It may be best for younger children to use puppets or social stories.  ​

25 WAYS TO HELP DEAL WITH YOUR CHILD REFUSING VISITATION:

  1. Children are not adults, you make the decisions and guide them through the correct way to deal with each situation throughout life. 
  2. Maintain your composure about the transitions. 
  3. Do not badmouth the other parent, living situation, relatives or friends.  
  4. Do not place blame on the other parent.
  5. Leave grown up talk to when only grown ups are present (finances, co-parenting topics, disagreements, etc).
  6. Do not guilt-trip your children for enjoying the other parent. 
  7. Do not interrupt, block scheduled visitations or connections (phone calls, emails, etc).
  8. Do not interrupt the schedule with calling, emailing or connection too often during visitation times.
  9. Do not plan activities for weekends that may fall on the other parents visitation schedule, causing interruption in parenting time. 
  10. Do not ask your children to be reporters or recite what they did during their visits.
  11. Do not ask your children to keep secrets. 
  12. Do not ask your child to be a messenger. 
  13. Allow for items to go back and forth between homes. Creating a familiarity between homes can increase the child's sense of security.
  14. Make transitions organized and brief
  15. Make goodbyes brief, warm and loving.
  16. Create social stories around leaving and returning. 
  17. Offer a stable routine and appropriate discipline. 
  18. Try to give advance notice for your child to prepare for the transition. 
  19. Do not ignore the other parent if it happens to be that you have to be at the same event together.
  20. Be supportive of the relationship your children have with the other parent. 
  21. Do not feed into potential disagreements. 
  22. Accept multiple parenting styles. 
  23. Build a support system for your child. 
  24. Do not be hard on yourself, be forgiving and accepting. 
  25. Let go of control where needed, remember it is likely your children can read you even if you don't say anything. 
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  • Community Events
    • Princeton Rum River Festival
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    • Princeton's Small Business Saturday
    • Registration Documents
    • Extras >
      • Exhibitor Tips
      • FAQs
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    • Websites
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  • Contact Us