The Drive is Merely, a Drive

​It has been a little more two and a half months now since making a transition from a full-time position to a freelance/contract role. I threw myself into what I will now call outer space by leaving a position that I absolutely loved, but could no longer be a part of due to an inability to work so directly with a personality completely opposite of my own on an everyday bases. I still work from an office, but it is my own. I do not have to share a revolving desk, I choose my projects, and I create my own fires, as well as, put them out. I find myself taking all the things I loved about my old position and continuing to move forward with my task set similar. That could be my undiagnosed OCD or just my will to do what I love.

I am still struggling to get my bearings. I often question the next step and how I will get there with 2 little ones at home and one on the way I know I cannot fail. My ability to move forward supersedes the average person in my position. Have I let go of the idea of moving into another full-time position? No. When I walk into an interview 30 weeks pregnant do the “interview nerves” get to me? Not a chance. I can tell you I have never interviewed for so many positions and not got the job. The light in all of this is no one, I mean not a single person has questioned my ability to perform in a short term contract position with my protruding belly. At this point I see a brighter future coming from this new role and I find an exciting ending to this story.

I am finding a glim curvy road turn straight and lit with the sun. A brisk fall breeze. The kind of road you start to slow down and watch the red, orange and yellow fall leaves turn. You take a deep breathe in with your jeans and long sleeve shirt on and know the world couldn’t get any better. In the real world this is when daycare calls and you are only a block away. You can run your little into the doctor and be back to work in only 30 minutes. You can thrive being the answer to each problem for anyone you’re doing work with – knowing you saved the day for someone each and every day.
In my role I am not tied to a computer all day, no. Majority of the day some days, yes. What I am finding is this work style is nothing ordinary. I can be shaking hands with someone that inspires me in a whole new way or training myself to be better at what I do. I have time in this role to invest in people. How exciting is that?

Finding my path hasn’t been easy. I have learned a lot in just a short amount of time. Most who know me, will tell you I am driven and nothing gets me down. I do have to say one of my favorite girls in the world and my amazing partner have been victim to several conversations that have approached negativity at its best. What am I doing here? I want to give up. If I could give up I would. Does this road lead anywhere? In all these trials and tribulations I have focused on;
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• Developing my capabilities. I have taken time to really focus and hone in on what I see coming from all of this. Start with listening and asking questions. Don’t talk, just listen. Show no reaction, just evaluate. Spend time reading. Spend time thinking. Really tap into your resources and connections. Do webinars. Find creditable sources that offer valid and up to date certifications. Learn what you don’t know. I am finding many times throughout the day I am writing stuff down to later research and develop my knowledge on.
• Finding a routine. I am accustomed to having a planned structured day so this is no hurdle or foreign task. This is one that truly comes easy to my personality type.
• Maintaining a working mindset. This again is a task that is easily done for me. I find myself overly influenced by ending the day in a position where I thought I could have maybe got further. I believe I have a great gauge for the tasks on my plate with the potential for distractions. In a “make your day happen” role I can see where the unstructured my flounder, but again this is one of my strong suits.
• Setting and meeting daily and weekly goals. I can say I used to be really great at this. I am struggling a bit to find out what this looks like now. In a previous sales position I had vision boards and motivational quotes written on mirrors in the house. I had sticky notes with what I was more closely working on day to day. “The Secret” type stuff. I can tell you in my previous role years ago, I knew the secret. I am trying to revisit and reinvent how this looks now. I am finding there are similarities, but with children the process behind this needs to be perfected as I spent a lot of time on the overall dream in the past. If you know about having kids, there seems to be a lot less time to dream and consistent change. A lot of time could be spent dreaming about something that will change tomorrow when the world is turned upside down by your child simply wanting to wear his shoes on the wrong feet.
• Getting out and meeting people. I had already had a strong connection in my local community developed from previous years. I had spent less time focusing on those since 2013. Many of those relationships need to be rekindled. There have been some new faces come into the community since my focus dwindled from so I think time will tell what the old relationships and nurturing can do for new community faces. Being present as much as possible at community functions I believe is key. I have started to establish new relationships with neighboring communities and plan to nurture relationships I have reached out to create there.  

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To sum this all up. I believe I said it earlier. This story doesn’t end here. This is the mere beginning to a new chapter. My drive to move this business forward is going to be bumpy, curvy and feel like a hot summer day with sweat pouring down my face wishing I hadn’t wore my heaviest sweater and long johns. Today, this is my life. Tomorrow gets so much better! Thanks for reading.